The Marriage of Creation and Evolution: How it All Began

I do!

The following is an attempt to briefly explain my own radical theory on the beginnings of humankind.  Please note that this is one of any number of theories that a wandering mind may stumble upon, while trekking upon the wide-open, candyland trail of Truth.  As Buddhists and hillbillies say, “It’s all relative.”  I have kept myself open to all possible outlets of this relative Truth, whether it be a culture, an experience, a religious movement, a personal experience, etc.  By doing so, I have been able to assemble conclusions that go beyond what society self-servingly spoon feeds the masses, to a sense of personal spiritual awareness.  And yet, I still don’t know shit!  HAHAHEEHAEHHEAEHAHEHEH!!!!!  (Lunatic laugh).

To begin with, a definition of “God” is in order.  As far as I’ve concluded, God is the ineffable awareness present within the matrix of energy which encompasses All.  Fair enough.

In the beginning there was void.  God breathed.  This represents the Big Bang.  Then came the creation period of the Bible.  This describes the forming of the Earth over a length of time.  “Seven days of creation” simply represents a number of Earth transformations that enabled life to flourish – the waters, the firmament (sky), and so on.  The Bible be representin’!

During this drawn out span of time, evolution occurred.  If man evolved from an animal, be it fish, bird, or ape, eventually he began to stand more and more erect.  There came a time when the spine vertically aligned, bridging Heaven and Earth.  The energy centers of the body, the chakras, kick in.  The meridians and central nervous system operate at full capacity.

The first ones to experience this event are identified as primordial man and woman, also known as Adam and Eve.  No longer were they conscious beings ruled by instinct.  They were now conscious of consciousness, aware of their awareness.  Hey, we’re naked!!!  This is what truly distinguishes man from beast.

As far as the Big Bang theory is concerned, scientists inform us that the Universe is currently in a constant state of expansion.  It is postulated that one day we will reach critical mass, and the Universe will begin contracting.  Eventually, everything will return to an infinite point – the void.  This, my friends, is the Universe exhaling and inhaling.  The breath of God!  It boggles the mind to wonder how many Universal breaths have come and gone before us, throughout infinity.

I’ve arrived at my own, and heard, many other fascinating theories on primordial man.  I decided to throw out the heaviest first.  Many Muslims believe that the apple with which Eve tempted Adam was oral sex.  Another very appealing idea is that the Earth was seeded with humans from an extraterrestrial source.  This would render us a cosmic ant farm, with God (or Gods) being project manager.  It would be a more befitting definition of “Intelligent Design”.

One day, I shall expound on my personal favorite, which identifies the forbidden fruit as the amanita muscaria – a magic mushroom.

Stay tuned!

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